I thought this was going to end..

Well, the last week of my life has been rather bad, to say it like that.. Friends doing things they have said they wouldn't, and just been fucking up alot..

I don't know why, if its me, or if it was just spontaniously done.. I seriously hope my time will come soon, I wont be able to live like this, here for much longer, i've done mine, and im tired of it.. I just want to get the hell out of here.. I'm so tired, of allways coming second in the group, im always the last to know, I don't know why, guess im just made to be that person..

I have alittle thing here to say though, i've decided to up my guts alittle, as my bestfriend told me to.. And if there is anyone i need to listen to, its her.. I can always come to her, talk to her, she always has something smart to say..

Just writing this makes me sick.. I just want to lay down, and not have any problems at all.. But I guess that can't happen.. I have decided to tell this girl about my feelings.. As the people ive spoken to says thats the best thing i can do at the moment.. And just pray for the best answer.. Now, i've said to my self, that if the answer is negative, i shouldn't care, then i knew that i told her, and i can stop going around thinking about it all day long..

And about the friend that quiet didnt stand up to me, i have found out that i can try to live with his mistake, but i sure as hell wont forgive him for what he did.. That won't happen. 2 times is enough.. Everyone i talk to, says that i shouldnt have let him go so easisly, that i should have said something more, but i couldn't.. If the girl i'm in love with, wants that guy, then fine. I only want the best for her, and if her best isn't me, then thats a price i have to pay.. And i have to say thanks, to the poeple that i can talk to.. You have no idea how much it means to me.. And i can promise you, i will do my best..