Still going

You don't know where you are, where you've been, what you've done, where you are suposed to be.

You start running, brain says run, heart says stop.. You keep on running, your brain is winning..
What are you running from? You stop. Start thinking, what are you thinking about?
The heart knows, the brain wants to forget.. Why is this so hard? You have to pieces saying things against eachother, inside your body.. You're confused, who should i listen to? Should i follow my heart and do my best, or go with my brain and wait, to see if this is the right thing to do.. You think that your brain is clever, but your heart won't let go, the feelings inside you start to scream, you're getting confused, again..

Someone once told me, to stand up for you're self, do as your heart says, for once, this seemed like the right choice..
Hours went, i sat there, thinking.. Still, i couldn't quite figure out why, these feeling's i'm experiencing, are weird..
You need something, someone, to share your feelings with..

You always go around, with the thought of doing something wrong in the back of your head. You have this paranoia about, saying something wrong, doing something wrong.. And thats whats keeping you from doing the right choice.

"We are all meant to shine as children do", she was right. She was absolutely right, when she wrote that sentence. But this still wont keep you from the thought of doing wrong.
You believe its your turn now, is it?

You wonder, why, when, how.. Still can't figure out.. A day has gone away, a thousand people has passed this lonely bench, you've been sitting on all day long.. Still confused, is my heart right, og is my brain right?

Is this really the girl I want?

You keep asking your self, if she's the right girl for you, you think about the ups and downs, you think you'll loose what you have, without gaining anything worth trying for.. I've been told a thousand times, it's you're turn soon, you will find the right girl for you.. I'm starting to believe thats just bullshit. I still can't find the girl of my dreams.. Or, I've found her, but i now realize we wont ever be more than friends.. I can sit here, writing for minutes, hours, days, months, but that wont help me for shit, I need to get my lazy ass out, but my selfconfidence keep's me from doing just that..

I'm not afraid of sharing my thoughts, the one thing I have difficulties of telling, is my feelings..
Like, it's not a problem, to talk to my friends about this, considering i know they will keep their mouth shut.. The one problem I have, is telling the girl im into, that I like her, that I want her for myself..

Am I dancing with the devil?

- "It is our life not our darkness that most frightens us, your playin small does not serve the world that there is nothin enlightened about shrinking so that
other people wont feel insecure around you."

This is a sentence I adore, when you understand it, it makes all the sense in the world, it took me almost 3 years to understand this poem.. I could sit for hours, reading it, over and over.. Still, it did not make any sense what so ever..
Then this girl came along, I start to get to know her.. She acctually tought me to understand it..

I will share this to all of you, when you first understand it, it will somehow change your life.. Even if you don't think about it, everything you do, everything you say, changes your life..

This is written by Marianne Williamson

- "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."